Today is my 5th anniversary. So this got me thinking about what I have learned in my five years of marriage. This list is not exhaustive and I would love to see you put what marriage has taught you in the comments section.
1. God was right, the shared life is better. It is nice to share life with someone. To ask them “did you see that,” when some cool event just happened. To tell them about your day (good or bad). For me life is more enjoyable when I can laugh at a joke together or talk about dreams with my wife.
2. Love is more than an endorphin rush. When we reduce love to feelings then we miss the beauty of love. Not that those feelings go away when your married, but you learn even more about the nature of love. Love is when you or your spouse sacrifice to make the other happen. Love can be Amanda watching and cheering on the Vols with me when I know she hates the game. Love is when I go to the mall and try not to “sigh” as we go from store-to-store. Love is commitment. Marriage teaches me more and more about 1 Corinthians 13.
3. I still struggle with the sin of selfishness and marriage has aided me in dealing with it. There is something about marriage that helps us grow closer to God. In that sense marriage is the first “spiritual discipline.” In marriage we learn about ourselves. I have learned that I have to constantly deal with selfishness otherwise it will rear its ugly head.
4. It is easier to be married when you have a good wife. Proverbs teaches this throughout. A “good” wife is one who is virtuous. It is one who has submitted to the Lordship of Jesus over your marriage. Amanda and I disagree at times (I know you are thinking how can anyone disagree with me, but she does every now and then), but we both try to find God’s will in our situations.
5. God is at work. Amanda lived in California. I lived in Tennessee, then South Dakota. Somehow we met in Denver. I do not want to say for sure that it was God’s providence (even the apostle Paul hesitated to claim God’s hand in certain situations), but I do thank God that it all worked out the way it did.
So what have you all learned from marriage?