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J. Allen Peterson, in his “Myth of the Greener Grass,” reports that two thirds of American husbands and half of American wives are guilty of infidelity at some point in their marriage. Such indiscretions result in the breakup of millions of homes, the emotional devastation of millions of lives, and the separation of many souls from God. Scripture is clear that marriage is to be held in honor by all who fear God, and that adultery is incompatible with God’s favor (Hebrews 13:4). As Christians who must live in this pressurized culture, how can we guard our marriages against the pitfalls of infidelity?

The greatest thing we can do is to practice true fidelity in our marriages. Fidelity involves the active fulfillment of our marriage vows. We must make large mental, physical, temporal, and spiritual investments in our relationship to be faithful to our vows. The Bible teaches us to love one another, to give ourselves in behalf of one another, to nourish and cherish one another, to cling to one another, to be kind to one another, to be understanding with one another, and to fulfill one another’s sexual needs. Peterson says this involves taking on the mentality of a “host” rather than the childish mentality of a “guest” in the marriage.

Another thing we Christians must do is affair-proof our marriages. To do this we must avoid forming intimate friendships with other persons of the opposite sex and sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with them. This is a kind of emotional infidelity. Be careful about private lunches or dinners or late work hours with co-workers of the opposite sex. Keep pictures of your mate and family very visible in your office. Be very cautious about too much “friendly” touching. Do not flirt with people other than your mate, even in jest, or associate with friends who talk flippantly about sexual matters. Never get involved with pornography or any kind of entertainment that glorifies sexual license. But, the biggest thing we can do to affair-proof our marriage is to invest our time and our emotional energy into our own relationship. True fidelity is the way to avoid the lure of infidelity! So, spend some time working on your marriage relationship! It will be time well spent to the glory of God.

Dan Owen

Dear Father,

I want to be faithful to my marriage vows. Give me the wisdom and strength to invest in my marriage relationship. Help me to love my husband/wife as I should and be true to my vows. May I be part of the solution to the family crisis in this country and not part of the problem.

In Jesus’ Name,


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  1. I will pray that prayer with you. Thanks for bringing up a very important point. Two-thirds of men…Wow. I would like to add, that having an older mentor really helps to. If you keep accountable, than your friend/accountability partner can spot something in your life that maybe your not paying enough attention to. This really helps me anyway.

  2. Great post. Short list of books which really helped change my attitude (which is, of course, the only one I can change):

    His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley
    Every Man’s Marriage by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoecker
    For Women/Men Only series by Shaunti Feldhahn

  3. Great post, Wesley. This is so needed! I would like to recommend another book….Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas is excellent.

  4. Wesley

    October 18, 2010 at 10:53 pm

    Thanks Rob and Rebekah for the book suggestions.

    Phil-I’m glad you are praying this prayer as well.

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